This Ain't Nothin' to Die For

I remember tearing this cartoon, dated 2005, out of a local newspaper (Newsday, for all my Long Islanders reading this entry) when I was in high school.  Most of my peers thought absolutely nothing of having a few beers on the Mini Bridge and then driving home on any given Friday; that "It'll never happen to me!" magical thinking could've gotten many people into a tough spot, but I'd never EVER let it happen to me.

In the early hours of 11/30/2008, Jason Shein was killed by a drunk driver in Farmingdale, NY, on his way home from Applebees with a few friends.  He was heading back to school in Miami the next morning, and he had come home for Thanksgiving to surprise his family.  He was going to school for neuroscience and he was going to become a doctor and change the world someday.  The 21-year-old with a happy life, tons of friends, and immense promise was taken down by a man who already had 3 DWIs to his name and was supposed to have a court-ordered ignition lock on his car.

Jay was always that guy who would IM me at 2 AM when we were in high school yelling me to go to bed; I'd tell him I had homework to finish and he'd tell me that no form of work is worth staying up that late for.  The one I would happily take a call from at midnight on a Tuesday because he'd be worried about something or someone.  He worked at Target in the photo department and I would always stop by just to say hi to him while I was there because he made my day better just by seeing him being happy and smiley.  ...The one who always told me I needed to slow down because I never had any free time.

I never knew just how much this one cartoon would stick in my mind when I first learned that Jay had been killed.  I also never dreamed that it would have such a profound influence on my life just a few years later.  This past summer at a party at a friend's house, "Friend A" had way too much to drink.  Everyone knew it, and laughed when I told them he was planning on driving himself home because clearly nobody was going to let him drive himself home.  To make a long story short, I ended up having a panic attack and he needed to be tackled to the ground to get his keys from him, ensuring that he would not be driving himself anywhere.

"Friend A" was really mad at me at the time, telling me I was overreacting and that I was being ridiculous; I was really mad at him too--all I could think of was Jay and how he was killed by someone who probably thought the exact same thing, that he was "fine to drive" and nothing would happen.  A lot of people would back down when faced with a tough situation like this, caving and not wanting to risk a huge argument.  Knowing my friend the way I do, I knew he was worth the fight.  Not only was his life worth the argument, but people's lives who could've been taken due to nobody standing up for them were worth the argument too.  "Friend A" was over it by the next day and eventually thanked me for "overreacting." 

The moral of this story is, your life is not the only one that is affected by your actions.  As the holiday season approaches, it's easy to go to lots of parties and not realize just how much you consume.  Do the world a favor--if you have more than one drink, let someone else drive.  Don't let your ego be responsible for taking innocent people's lives...the people who love them will never forgive you.  Jay was an exceptional person and I think about him every day; it's my mission to not let his death be in vain.  You may not know Jay, but please take his story to heart as if you did--I promise it will change your life.

Rest in Peace, Jay...you are loved and missed more than you can imagine. <3

In Memory of Jason Shein

July 4, 1987-November 30, 2008

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson (found on the back of Jay's memorial card)